Over the years I have made a lot of poor decisions in my life. Starting at a young age and continuing through high school, college into marriage and then through divorce. Through all of those times the only thing I really felt was condemnation and judgement from those around me. Whether it be family, friends, church leaders, coworkers that was always the vibe that was given.
I look at our society today and all I see happening is more of the same. Our society has been trained to look for the faults in others. As kids we hear our parents or friends parents gossipping about other parents. By the time we are 5 and 6 years old we are looking critically at those around us and putting them down if they aren't the same or doing the same things that we are. This just gets compounded as we get older. And i truly believe we hit our evil best during the high school period. The church has also been a huge source of judgement for so many people. I was raised in the church, and i was raised to think that if you sin you're going to hell. Plain and simple. There was no grace, that was given once when you accepted Christ. But if you screw up we're done with you. The church in general has turned off so many people to faith that the church in America is struggling to stay afloat. Society tries to tell us what is right and what is best and if we don't fit the mold we'll toss you aside.
What can i do about this? Thats what i've been thinking about for some time now. You get these grand ideas in your head about changing the way everyone thinks and acts and responds to those around us, but in reality all I can do is change me. When i was hitting rock bottom a few years after my divorce there was one thing that truly changed my life. I was making stupid choices, getting into trouble, etc. I was feeling nothing but condemnation and judgement from all sides and then it happenned. My brother sent me a note. Thats all he did, one little act, five minutes of his time one wednesday morning. This one little thing changed my life. The note was short and to the point and completely changed my outlook on the future. "i love you and i'm here for you know matter what". This was the first time in my life apart from my daughter that i felt true unconditional love. The judgement and condemnation fell off of me and all i wanted to do from that point was be a better person, be a great father, and love others.
Everyone struggles, everyone has things in there life that have been hard and torn them down. But those few little words of support or encouragement can change someones life. I will not judge others, because i have made all those same choices and mistakes. I want to be that person that affects change in other peoples lives not tears them down. Its easy to judge and talk bad about other people, and difficult to be the person that doesn't, but if you can change one persons life for the better isn't it worth it. Don't be like everyone else.
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